What's That Smell?
by MafiaMarshMello
Summary: It was coronation day, and this story takes place somewhere during the coronation party. My first fic, so don't hate because this is an intended crackfic. Constructive criticism allowed. Rated M for swearing and violence...and paranoia from the author


It was coronation day.

Elsa was crowned queen of the Scandinavian kingdom, Arendelle. The whole kingdom held a huge celebration in honor of the new queen, and it lasted up until the middle of the night.

Everyone was still enjoying themselves in gaiety and merrymaking (sounds too old-fashioned, so shut your face), complete with music filling the whole ballroom.

Queen Elsa only stared in nostalgic longing at the sight of all the noblemen and women, all enjoying themselves without a second thought of the events that may befall on them. Her sister, Princess Anna, the successor of her throne (if she does not have an offspring) was no exception.

"Hey there, Elsa!" She greeted casually. Then she blushed. "I-I mean Queen...Queen Els—"

Queen Elsa stopped her with a smile. "It's fine."

They stayed silent for eight seconds until the air around them felt awkward. The older woman broke the tension. "You look beautiful."

The immature redhead giggled. "You look beautifuller! Um, not 'fuller', I-I mean...um, more beautiful!"

The platinum blonde ice elementalist laughed at her bad grammar. Anna was quite the rebellious type—she could not stay in one place, and during classes her attention span was that of a hummingbird's.

"Thank you."

They stared back into the joyful air around the ballroom. "This looks amazing, isn't it?" Queen Elsa remarked.

"Yeah," Anna agreed, then her eyes widened as a familiar scent pierced their noses. "What's that amazing smell?"

They sharpy caught a waft and inhaled the sweet smell of their favorite treat...

"Mmm... _chocolate!"_

They giggled like nothing wrong was going to happen. All of a sudden, a voice suddenly rang throughout the crowd.

"Did you just say... _chocolate_?"

Nobody minded, but Elsa felt something wrong. "Uh, yes? Please come forward..."

"Huh, that person probably wants some of our chocolate. I'm starving!" "Anna, don't embarrass yourself."

"Chocolate?" The voice started again, and this time it was louder. The source was then revealed at the entrance.

(Cue the really awesome Mello's Theme Music FX!)

A weird-looking blonde in all black leather, vest, pants, boots and all, walked forward, icy blue eyes widened. What made her unsettling and scary was the large burn on the side of her face and a gun in her gloved hand.

"Yes, young lady? What's with the chocolate?" Anna blurted.

At her words, the weird gangster teen suddenly flashed a glare.

"Um...Anna?" Elsa said reluctantly. "I-I don't think that's a lady..."

Anna's eyes were so wide they looked like they would pop off. "Did you say chocolate?!" The weird guy screamed. At this point everyone looked towards him. "Look, calm do—"

"CHOCOLATE?!" He screeched as aimed his gun towards just about everyone.

Guards soon ran towards him with handcuffs and swords, but then loud gunshots were heard and blood splattered the walls.

Everyone gasped _. "_ _ **DID YOU SAY CHOCOLATE?!**_ _"_

"I warn you, come closer and—" Elsa started as ice started to surround her body. "NO! CHOCOLATE!" He screamed crazily as he started to take off in a run, shooting and claiming the lives of other people. The Duke of Weaseltown—erm, Weselton exploded into bits, and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles dropped on the floor.

(Cue really loud Heavy Metal What's Up People)

" ** _CHOCOLATE?_** **!** "

Then Gangster She-Male's (the Arendelle sisters decided to nickname him while they were alive) eyes suddenly turned into icy blue slits.

Anna shrieked a bit as she ran off and hid behind the curtains, but not before grabbing all but one chocolate cake.

Gangster She-Male went on a rampage.

 _"_ _ **CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTE!"**_ He yelled as more guests and guards died. The windows were broken, curtains were torn down, and one of the chandeliers fell down, smashing flat a poor nobleman.

In her effort, Elsa tried to fix everything with her ice powers and create barriers, but the icy walla were soon ridden with cracks and gunshots. One barrier even melted from the intense friction from the bullet's speed.

" _ **CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTE!"**_ He yelled again as he was restrained by the Weselton bodyguards. Even with their muscle power, they got themselves cuts and slices from Gangster She-Male's pocketknife and he escaped.

"Stop this madness! _NOW!_ " Elsa ordered but he didn't pay attention.

" _ **CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!"**_ He screamed in utter madness, excitement and rage as gunshots and heavy metal loudspeakers filled the air.

All the while Anna ran up to her bedroom and hid the chocolatey treats behind her wardrobe, but unfortunately for her, Gangster She-Male had keen senses.

Footsteps pounded the stairs. Gunshots rang across the palace corridors. "GIMME MY CHOCOLAAAATTTE!"

Anna shrieked in fright and found the nearest weapon—a clothes hanger.

A bullet pierced a hole through the doorknob, which could've been impossible since it was of hard material—but again, guns weren't available in Arendelle.

The doors burst open and a 38 pound mass of Chocolate Mafia Awesomeness came in screaming his mantra. " _ **CHOCOLAAAATTE! CHOCOLAAAATTE! CHOCOLAAAATTE! CHOCOLAAAATTE!"**_

Bullets scraped her bedroom and Anna struggled to dodge each and every one of them. She even tried to hide in that same wardrobe, but it was a total fail.

Gangster She-Male, Mafia Queen (hehe) of Chocolate caught a sight of the heavenly junk food of sweet brown stuff (it's not shit, okay?), and faster than a bullet, reached out for it.

"YES! MY SWEET, WE ARE UNITED!" He cheered as he held up the two-tiered lump of heaven and with one foot, had the poor princess pinned down.

"N-No! Please!" She begged.

 _"AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR YOUR CRAP!"_

He pulled the trigger. Anna closed her eyes and awaited death, but it wasn't her time yet.

She was tranquilized. Enough to last for God-Knows-How-Many-Hours-Or-Years, but she wasn't dead.

A sly smirk was written over Gangster She-Male's face. Then he caught a sight of a certain platinum shitbag with crappy ice powers, and laughed like a madman.

" _ **MELLO McAWESOME'S OUT TO GET YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHOCOLATE AND YOUR LITTLE SHIT-PILE ICE MAGIC, YOU CRAPPY TV SING-ALONG BITCH!"**_

(And somewhere in the alter-dimension, the author a.k.a. I myself and my friends facepalm at my terrible insult)

(Spongebob voice) A few hours latah...

" _Let it go! Let it go!_ " Elsa sang as she battled against Gangster She-Male, or as she heard from his badass lame-ass battle cry, Mello.

Icy bullets pierced the air, but each time they appear, they get broken off by steel pellets. Thick barriers of ice slowly cracked and broke down, shards spraying the ground.

" _Can't hold it back anyMOOOR—_ " " _SHUT UUUPP!_ " Mello screamed as he pulled the trigger on a random snowman she made—a pathetic little thing who names himself Olaf.

Olaf, however, walked away from the incoming target. Then he waddled towards the PMS-ing teenaged Mafia boss, oblivious of his fate.

"Hello! I'm Olaf, and I like warm h—"

 _"I DON'T CARE YOU DUMBASS SNOWSHIT! I WANT MAH CHOCOLATE! GO ENJOY YOUR SUMMER AND_ _ **DIE!"**_ Mello screeched as he stomped on the poor snowman, leaving a puddle of water and frost...and eyeballs.

" _No! OLAF! LET IT GOOO! LET IT GOO!_ _ **TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOOORRR!**_ **"** Elsa yelled as she unleashed a blast of frost, throwing off Mello. It was so strong that she swore that she was nearly thrown off by the force of her immense power.

The frosty fog unfolded, and Elsa expected to see her gender-bender-whatever rival. Instead, she only saw plain frost and snow, and a puddle of Dead Olaf.

She continued anyway. _"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY!_ _ **LET THE STORM RAGE ON..."**_

Then just behind her, a gun clicked.

" _Your existence bothered me everyday."_

Elsa was soon pinned to the ground, gun on her head, dagger on the other hand, and a knee on her chest.

Frost started to fly from Elsa's hands as she struggled. "Wh-Who are you?! What did you do to my sister?!"

She didn't get an answer.

Then he pulled the trigger.

Six words: Mihael Keehl loves being painted in red.

Well, I can't say the rest...

...I guess we'll assume that Arendelle was cleared of chocolate, and it has become an unknown hideout for the American Mafia, without any SPK surveillance.

Near would totally wonder why he received a Frozen DVD and a bloodied lock of braided hair for Christmas, along with a note:

'To: Cotton Ball

This is

for you and for your existence,

Albino Asshole.'

THE END


End file.
